"women are (still) not equal" and other phrases that make me feel subordinate

I'll be honest: as much as I have a joyful, bubbly personality, I readily admit to acting highly perturbed - even angry - when certain things are said or done to me. And I would totally justify my anger as "righteous" or "not necessarily sinful" because of W, X, Y, and Z reasons. In no particular order, I've thought of some of those phrases, spoken or unspoken, that really bug me (and maybe they bug you too?):

1 - "Women are (still) not equal."

Okay, no one would really SAY that out loud (unless you're an extreme complementarian), but I am sick and tired of waging verbal wars with men (and women too!) about the relationship between human female anatomy and her career options. Yes, women are still paid less than men for doing the same job (though I truly believe the gap is closing). Yes, a human born with a vagina is still barred from serving alongside men in ministry in many conservative evangelical circles. OH, that we would return to the first model of human partnership where, before sin even entered the picture, Adam and Eve took care of the garden TOGETHER, stewarded the earth TOGETHER, did life TOGETHER where neither was lord over the other. Brothers and sisters, it is never right to elevate the American white male to an idol, no matter if you think that way or not. And so, from limiting women in any capacity in ministry, she will not be able to glorify her God to the fullest extent with the gifts the Spirit gave her, and the Kingdom of God stunts in growth at least by half, if not more.

2 - "When are you gonna start having kids?"

This question shouldn't bother me nearly as much as it does. Maybe I let it get underneath my skin too often when I should merely brush the inquiry off. But as much as I consider myself an honest person and a detailed person, I let honesty and details mix together far more often than I should. And so, in response to this question, I feel morally obligated to explain that I might not be able to have children. Even more so, if the occasion presents itself appropriately, I may add that I'm not sure I want children. But as soon as I spit out that sentence, I catch myself sucking some of the spit back. What woman doesn't want children of her own and have a family with her husband? But then I think of several couples who purposefully remain childless, either for a time or for all time, so they are able to devote more of themselves to already existing children without families, or for various other reasons. My identity as a woman is not wrapped up in my ability or inability to have children (although if I were living in OT times, I would certainly be an outcast and considered cursed of God). My identity is found in Jesus Christ. If my husband and I have children, praise God. If we are unable to ever have children, then praise God - God has a different plan for us and we will follow Him where He leads.

3 - "The husband is to be the leader/head of the household."

Horse crap. Though the household codes in Ephesians 5:21-33 speaks of the wife submitting (voluntarily yielding), it says nothing in that passage about the husband leading. First, husband and wife are to submit to each other (Eph 5:21). But as much as the wife and husband need to voluntarily yield themselves to each other, additional instruction is given to the husband to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Now, this does NOT denote positional authority but rather sacrificial love. Reading onward to verse 25 where the husband's instruction is expounded and made complete from the initial "head" command: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." And how did Christ love the church? He gave Himself up for her. Philippians 2:1-11 beautifully depicts Christ's humility as a servant being made in human likeness and was obedient to death on a cross. So a wife and husband both sacrifice, both submit, out of love and respect for one another. What a beautiful picture of partnership and equality. Anything other than that is to twist the Scriptures into what we want them to mean (many times, a simple "black and white" or "face value" interpretation) instead of what they actually say. How said that entire denominations and church splits form over such a seemingly simple matter. More time is spent debating theology in some churches than taking care of the poor and disenfranchised. And that is sad.

I do not apologize for my opinions, outspoken as they are. It can be both a positive trait and a negative flaw, but I am glad for the courage to at least blog, if not enter into conversation with a person of an opposing opinion. After all, how will we know the truth of a matter if we do not diligently seek it out? On today's matter, I know that I am not a subordinate, but please for the love of it all, remove both the conversational and theological statements that have no grounds on which to stand and thereby making me and other women experience shame and unworthiness simply because we were born female.